Well, the world's gone nuts
You'd better believe
There's a hidden handshake
Up every sleeve
A secret club of big wigs
With their top hats right
Making shady deals
In the dead of night
Oh, the Illuminati's
Got a scheme so grand
Shaping the world
With a sleight of hand
Triangle towers
And symbols so sly
They're baking the cake
While we're eating the pie
They're planting clues
In the books we read
In every movie
Every pop star's dream
With every dance craze
And famous delight
They're weaving the net
Pulling it tight
Oh, the Illuminati's
Got a scheme so grand
Shaping the world
With a sleight of hand
Hush now, honey
Don't you dare scream
It's just the old pyramid scheme
There's a man with a monocle
Counting the dough
A dame with a secret
She'll never let it show
Down in the speakeasy
Deals are made
They're toasting to the future
While the game is played
So wear your tinfoil hat
Keep your thoughts clear
They got their ears
To the ground, my dear
But what can we do?
Let's dance and sing
When the world's controlled
By the puppet king
They've got their eyes
On the dollar and your soul
Playing puppet masters
With the ultimate goal
Oh, the Illuminati's
Got a scheme so grand
Shaping the world
With a sleight of hand
Triangle towers
And symbols so sly
They're baking the cake
While we're eating the pie
Hush now, honey
Don't you dare scream
It's just the old pyramid scheme