Well, the world's gone nuts

You'd better believe

There's a hidden handshake

Up every sleeve

A secret club of big wigs

With their top hats right

Making shady deals

In the dead of night

Oh, the Illuminati's

Got a scheme so grand

Shaping the world

With a sleight of hand

Triangle towers

And symbols so sly

They're baking the cake

While we're eating the pie

They're planting clues

In the books we read

In every movie

Every pop star's dream

With every dance craze

And famous delight

They're weaving the net

Pulling it tight

Oh, the Illuminati's

Got a scheme so grand

Shaping the world

With a sleight of hand

Hush now, honey

Don't you dare scream

It's just the old pyramid scheme

There's a man with a monocle

Counting the dough

A dame with a secret

She'll never let it show

Down in the speakeasy

Deals are made

They're toasting to the future

While the game is played

So wear your tinfoil hat

Keep your thoughts clear

They got their ears

To the ground, my dear

But what can we do?

Let's dance and sing

When the world's controlled

By the puppet king

They've got their eyes

On the dollar and your soul

Playing puppet masters

With the ultimate goal

Oh, the Illuminati's

Got a scheme so grand

Shaping the world

With a sleight of hand

Triangle towers

And symbols so sly

They're baking the cake

While we're eating the pie

Hush now, honey

Don't you dare scream

It's just the old pyramid scheme