Seriously This is a tragedy it happened just this way I was minding my own business when the telephone rang It was the people from the Second way They asked to talk to the figure head They thought that he'd have something to say They wanted to convince him to take his place At the head of their cavalcade Come on now we've waited a long time for you There's a Second Way You can join up today There's a Second Way Sign up now, don't delay I said I don't know what you're talking about You've clearly made an awful mistake There's nobody here but the gardener And he's out on a break I'd love to stay on and chat for a while But life gets in the way And I'm busy living here in Cuckoo land And I'm busy living here in Cockaigne Come on now we've waited a long time for you The voice said you should be ashamed of yourself There are people waiting out here for you I said you've probably entered the numbers wrong Because I can't do what you want me to do I can't do what you want me to do I can't do what you want me to do Down the line came an irascible groan I said hey we've never had It so good They said \"True but we wanted to dream some more And you promised us that we could\" There's a Second Way You can join up today There's a Second Way Sign up now, don't delay